Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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