so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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