Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
