Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
