I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame today included voting.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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