my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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