You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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