Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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