erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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