My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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