You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
