i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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