It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I love having hate sex.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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