I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
