Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
