Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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