Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
