So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete