Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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