Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Randomize
