i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
