How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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