i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
