OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
