I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
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