tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
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