her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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