I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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