just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
