Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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