im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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