i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Randomize
