You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
