Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize
