So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
