I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
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