mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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