UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
