Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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