don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I just blew my weed a kiss
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
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