Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize