I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
