Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
