You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
