I think my vagina is haunted
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
