There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize