I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
