And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
