So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Please don't give away my fajitas
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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