i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
