Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
