I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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