Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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