i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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