I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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