I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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