if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Randomize
